a pregnancy post

Just stopping in to give some info about my pregnancy.
- I am now 20 weeks pregnant. I am due May 18th. Clara was due May 15th, but came 3 weeks early. We'll see how this one goes but I wouldn't mind if I went a few weeks early again.
- I have been sick sicky sick sick. Zofran has not really helped significantly. Things seemed to improve somewhat around 16-17 weeks, meaning I am not nauseous ever so often, but I am still exhausted and generally don't feel good most of the day.
- Some people are thinking it. Some people are even tactless enough to ask it. So I will just put it out there... Yes, this was a planned pregnancy. It happened a lot faster than we thought it would (took us over a year to get pregnant with Clara. We scored on the first try with this one. TMI?) but we are thrilled that our kids will be close in age.
- Although I worked full time throughout my last pregnancy, this one has been much harder. For starters, I started getting sicker than a dog before my pregnancy test even read positive. Also, I have a very busy toddler to take care of, and I am still working 2- 12 hour shifts per week. We also moved a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant. Needless to say, my life is a mess. We have never gotten totally moved in to our new place (3 months later...), my blog is so far behind, my house is a total disaster zone, I don't even shower half the time. I am proud when Clara and I make it to the end of a day alive. So far, we're 100% on that one, so I guess that's something to be happy about. As a control freak, I find all of this very distressing, but I am trying to keep in mind that it is a temporary state of being. I know I will feel like a new person the day this child exits my body. I know having 2 children will have its challenges, and I know that the sleep-deprived newborn stage isn't exactly a walk in the park, but at least I will feel like myself again. Looking forward to that.
-It's a boy! Are you wondering why I didn't put that at the top?  There should be something exciting after the whiney little rant you just tolerated. He was pretty uncooperative in our anatomy ultrasound. In fact, we have to go back in a couple of weeks to have a few things checked out because he wouldn't cooperate. But he wasn't at all shy about letting us know that he is a he.
-Yes, we have some name ideas. Nope, we won't share them with you. Sorry. We don't want your reaction/opinion to ruin the name options before he's even here. Ha ha.
- Yes, I am already huge. No, it's not twins. No, you can't rub my stomach.
- I am planning on returning to work after I have the baby.
- Due to the difficulties I have encountered during this pregnancy, I believe this is the last one we're having. I hate being pregnant. I would maybe consider having more kids if I could skip the whole pregnancy thing, but 2 kids doesn't seem so bad to me.
So there you have it folks.

18 months

Clara is now 18 months. Ok, 19. Better late than never.
She is so much fun and we so enjoy having her in our family.
Here's some things about her right now:
-She loves letters. She can muddle her way through the entire ABCs. She especially loves the letter B. I have no idea why. She always picks it out though and often roams the house looking for a letter B to carry around (we have alphabet magnets as well as some foam bath letters.)
-She is talking up a storm. Every time we go to the doctor, they are super impressed with her vocabulary. She often just repeats stuff over and over for no apparent reason.
-She loves to color. She gets so excited if she finds a pen or some crayons. She loves people to color with her, and mostly wants them to draw cats over and over and over.
-She is very interested in the moon right now. When she sees it in the sky, she just says "moon" over and over and over. Sometimes, when I tell her it's nighttime, she says moon.
-She finally decided to wean from breast feeding. We were just feeding a couple of times at night for the last couple months, and she dropped those feedings altogether just before she turned 18 months. I was happy.
-She thinks "be nice" means caress the side of someone's face. When I tell her to be nice, she usually goes up to whoever I was talking about and does just that while saying "nice"
-She loves slides, and is a total slide daredevil. She'll go up or down them, she'll go on her stomach, face first, etc. Her cousin has a slide toy at her house and Clara just adores that. Often when she goes over there, she says "slide" over and over until someone gets it out for her.
-She got tall all of the sudden. She has been hanging out near the 50th percentile for height and weight basically since she was born. At her 18 month appointment, she was suddenly 95th percentile for height.
-She's in a total momma's girl phase. It can be difficult. It breaks my heart when she cries when I leave for work, and she won't really go to nursery (children's class at church) without me sitting in there with her. But mostly I love it and eat it up.
-She is obsessed with taking baths. She could stay in there all day if we let her. She always cries when she has to get out. She took a bath with her cousin Marseille the other day and she has been saying "Marseille tub"to me multiple times a day since then.
She is just so funny and we love seeing what kind of silly things she's gonna let loose each day.

We are excited to announce that in May 2014, Clara is going to become a big sister.

Well hello.
My blogging has been much less than stellar. Can I just admit that my life is a mess right now?
We just moved a couple of weeks ago to get away from our last set of neighbors, and I really do forget how much of a nightmare moving is. We seem to accumulate more and more stuff over time, plus it seems like almost everything is harder with a toddler in tow. We are still struggling to get settled. It is a slow process.
So please bear with me for the next little bit as I confess I will probably remain less than stellar at blogging. I do plan on getting all caught up in the very near future.
Toodles

Another birthday

The day started out with a little adventure. Zack texted me and let me know that the Rita's that opened a few weeks ago in Midvale was having a grand opening party.  I'm not really sure why they didn't have it earlier. In any case, in honor of that event, they were giving away free ice for a year to the first 50 people in line who donated a school supply. By the time I got the message from Zack, the store was due to open in about an hour an a half. Zack said he saw on their facebook page that some people had camped overnight for the free ice. So I knew my chances weren't very good. I debated about if I should try for it or not. It would take 20 mins for me to drive there, and even if I did end up being lucky enough to be one of the first 50 in line, I would have to stand in line for an hour with my very busy toddler. It didn't sound like the most relaxing birthday morning to me. On the other hand, there was a chance that I could win free Rita's for a year! I knew I had to try for it. So we hopped in the car and headed over.

I was expecting to see quite the crowd when we got there, but there weren't actually that many people. We walked up and got this lovely necklace. 

I could barely believe my eyes that I was only the 27th in line with only an hour until store opening. I tried calling people I know to see if anyone else could come and win some free ice, but I guess most people aren't just sitting around waiting to win things on weekday mornings, so no one could make it.

One of the best parts of the deal is that once I had my number necklace, they did not make me wait there for the store to open. There is a Super Target quite close to the Rita's, so baby and I headed over there and browsed the store for a while to keep ourselves entertained. We headed back over to Rita's at opening time. They only reached the 50th person to win the free ice for a year like 5 minutes before the store opened. One woman said she was just driving by and saw a sign saying free ice, so she stopped to get one and she ended up winning free water ice for a year. I guess she just carries random school supplies with her in her purse? I don't know if it wasn't advertised very well (we didn't know about it until the morning of), or if most people don't care, but whatever. Worked for us. Here's baby with the ice man... I know it's a crappy picture. Thus are my photography skills.

We picked up our free ice for a year coupons (52 of them). Additionally, there were giving away 1 free ice to anyone who came into the store all day, so we got one while we were there... lemon flavor, for the record. Mmmmmm. Totally worth the hour and a half or so of our morning.

Otherwise, it was mostly a pretty low key day. Zack left me some cute surprises around the house.

In the evening, we had planned to go out to dinner, but decided we didn't really feel like it so we went to see a scary movie instead. We liked the movie just fine, but the experience was somewhat less than stellar. I think the movie had fairly recently come out, maybe even just that day. Anyway, it was a Friday night and the theatre was just packed with teenagers. They were loud. Some of them had to make a huge hubbub every time there was a scary part, screaming and carrying on. It was impossible to hear anything going on in the movie for quite a bit after each scary part. Then there were all the people who were annoyed by the annoying melodramatic people, who were yelling out curse words and telling others to shut up.  It is by far the most annoying experience I have ever had at the movies. I guess that's what you get for going to see a movie that draws a big teen crowd... Or maybe it's just a sign that I am getting old. We got over it though and had a good time.
I was born on a Friday the 13th, so I have always had a little fondness for when my birthday happens to fall on a Friday. I remember the last time I thought it was due to fall on a Friday, it actually skipped from Thursday to Saturday from one year to the next because of a leap year. At that time, I calculated how old I would be when it actually fell on a Friday again, and I remember thinking how old that was and how long away that would be. Well, it's come and gone. Time flies.
Thanks to everyone who thought of me on my birthday and made my day feel special.

July date

My plan for our July date was for us to go to a baseball game.

We didn't go. 

July's planned date night totally failed.  That's just how life goes sometimes.

But we were still able to get out by ourselves and have a good time. We went and saw World War Z, which we thought was kinda fun. So hey, that's better than nothing.

Mommy Wars

I have been thinking a lot lately about the so-called Mommy Wars. As a mom, I find it hard not to think about. There is so much debate about what it best for children, and how we as moms can best provide that. I read this blog post recently (don't remember where it was) where the mom said that she was judging other moms, and she even suggested that if a toddler is throwing a temper tantrum somewhere public, that child's mom should automatically leave, taking the child with her. For example, a mom grocery shopping with a toddler. If the toddler starts pitching a fit, the mom leaves the store completely, abandoning her grocery shopping trip to avoid inconveniencing other shoppers by subjecting them to their child's tantrum. What?

If there's one thing I have learned since being a parent, it's that I have absolutely no right to judge other people's parenting. As far as I'm concerned, unless someone is abusing their child, they are pretty much free to do the parenting thing however they want. Every child is different. Each family's circumstances are different. Each family's values are different. When we spend time poking holes in other people's parenting, we aren't doing anyone any favors. It seems to me like we are all in this battle together in one way or another, and if we spent more time helping others out instead of judging, we'd all be better off.

This has led me to think a lot about my own parenting style. I have realized more and more lately that I don't really have any idea what my style is. My kid is only 15 months old. Maybe it will become more clearly defined over time. Maybe it will be different with each of my children (assuming I am ever brave enough to do the pregnancy-torture thing again). Maybe not. I was kind of surprised the other day when my sister mentioned that she thinks her parenting style is more similar to that of my brother (who, by the way, does not have any kids. Ha ha) than to mine. My first thought was "how does she even know what my parenting style is?" I realized that what she really meant is that their personalities, their priorities, and their values are more similar. They have made different geographical, financial, and political decisions than we have. Maybe all those work together to make up parenting style. Perhaps it is primarily determined by our past choices and experiences, mixed with our current personalities and situations. I do not know.

What I do know is that I had ideas about what parenting would be like before I was a parent, and many of those have flown right out the window when faced with the realities of parenthood. So how can I look at another parent and say that what they are doing is not the correct way to parent when I have no idea what their realities are? I guess all I am trying to say is that if you have chosen to be a parent, just keep plugging away the best you can. I am right there with you. When you feel like all the eyes around you are judging you, look for my eyes. I may not completely understand or agree with everything you are doing, but I think you're doing a great job anyway. Let's just share a moment of support for each other before we dive back into the complete mess that we have gotten ourselves into. 

A tough one

When we decided to move here last year, we just took a leap of faith and went for it. It really felt like the right thing for us to do, so we did it.

It has been a very challenging year. It hasn't been exactly what we imagined in some ways. We have gotten to spend much more time with family than we ever did in Philly, of course, but I think we imagined that we would have even more of a relationship with them, especially with our siblings. I know it's a 2 way street and our lack of effort is in part to blame for that.

We do not love it here. We still find ourselves wishing that we could just hop on the blue line downtown and walk around Reading Terminal Market or take a family walk scoping out cute old houses in our neighborhood. We miss our apartment there, where we never heard a peep out of our neighbors. We miss the walkability of our neighborhood. We tried to find that here, but aren't sure it really exists. But we are slowly finding our place here, learning to enjoy what is available to us.

Probably the hardest part of just moving here on a whim is that it has been more of a battle than we expected for Zack to find employment. It has been super stressful for all of us, and it has been a painful year financially.

I don't say all that to sound whiny.

The fact is things are turning around finally. Zack starts his new job tomorrow. We will be moving away from our awful neighbors in a few months (although who knows what our new ones will be like). We have the opportunities available to us to continue to spend time with family. Despite how hard this year has been, somehow we made it through together, and I'd like to think we're stronger for it.

So in a couple weeks, our second year back in Utah will begin. Here's to a less rocky year for our little family.